Having the ability to be a Fly at night, I overheard the Prayers of Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich and their cohorts!
My night Job of becoming a Fly allows me to hear “only Political prayers.” And so it was on the night of March 5, 2012, one day before the eleven States Primaries, and yes, they were gathered in one room and thus were their prayers in the order that they prayed.
Mitt Romney was first and thus he prayed! O dear Caesar, I want you to send me gold and more money. O Caesar you know how much I love money. O Caesar please give me the victory in the majority of States, but especially Ohio, and dear master Caesar, give Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich the courage to stay in the race, for if either of them should drop out, well, you know what I mean. I thank you master Caesar.
Rick Santorum was second and thus he prayed! O extremist One, discourage Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul to drop out of the race. O extremist One, you know I am the only true conservative in this race; you know I have never used a condom and neither my wife or I have ever used contraceptive, and if you cause me to win, I will work to ban all contraceptive; ban all women from working; amend the Constitution to make church and State one, and yes extremist One, I will reintroduce the Inquisition not only in America, but all over the world and I will take my orders only from the Vatican, and church and State would have no separation but will be one. I will show the Mullahs in theMiddle East that not only they can have extremist religious Government, but that the leader of the world, The United States of America, will work to outlaw all secular Governments. I thank you extremist One!
Newt Gingrich was third and thus he prayed! O President Reagan, send me more sugar Daddies to keep my campaign going and as you know I don’t stand a chance in hell to win even another State, but if people give me money I would remain in the race so that my young wife Callista would continue to see me as the sexy one. O Greek gods Reagan please guide me not to cheat on this my third wife for I am no longer big in Politics and on top of that, I am headed in the area of seventy years of age. O Greek god Reagan, I thank you!
Then the Fox misnomer for News prayed;
Sean Hannity prayed first and thus he prayed! O father of hacking Murdoch, you know I have spent five years, from 2007 to the present day to defeat Barack Hussein Obama, but he is not going away. Jobs are coming back; the economy is on the rebound and the confidence of the American people are rising; O father of hacking Murdoch, you control a big portion of the World’s media, fabricate bad economic news, for if Obama get another four years, I don’t think I have the strength to carry on spewing lies and fabrication for an Obama second term. You see father of hacking Murdoch, I am not asking anything for me and neither am I asking much. I thank you father of hacking, Murdoch.
Bill O’Reilly prayed second and thus he prayed! Murdoch! I don’t have to call you great one or suck up to you for I make you lots of money, so help me to help Obama win a second term. If Obama doesn’t get a second term not only me but most of your News Team wouldn’t have anything to report. Murdoch, I know you follow your Fox misguided news and without having Obama to knock with all of our lies, deceit and hypocrisy, there would be no Fox News. Murdoch, I am not going to thank you, just do what I ask! Do you understand me Hacker?
Greta van Susteren prayed third and thus she prayed! O great right-wing employer Murdoch, please help Rush Limbaugh out of his foot and mouth disease, for without him to blaspheme for me, I would be nothing. O great right-wing employer, you know I used to be a very balanced reporter and being a lawyer I was objective and respected, but because of the demand on the employees to run down Obama and the Liberals, I have become the company I have been keeping. Great right-wing employer as an example, the job reports for January and February were very good, but to keep in line with your wishes, we have to say, February job report reveals that 227,000 jobs were created, “but”….. Great right-wing employer I don’t understand the “but” in positive news and I am convinced that when we invoke the “but” in good news, we your employees and you Great right-wing Employer, we all look like BUTTS! Help me Great right-wing Employer!
Amazingly enough, Speaker of the House John Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell prayed last in a very soft talking duet; and thus they prayed; O Republican Party and dedicated Republicans, we are screwed, tattooed and blued in any chance of winning back the White House this year. We began the campaign with a total of twelve truly nutty people and now we are left with; [1] a liar, hypocrite, money hungry vampire, who doesn’t know who he is and will never know, because he is on every side of every issue, Mitt Romney; [2] an extremist of the worse kind, a person who has driven the women votes away because of his obsession with controlling people’s sex lives and their private parts, especially women’s, Rick Santorum, who attracts the extremists but couldn’t win a dog race in the general election; [3] a full of gas, bloated, bifurcated hate monger, Newt Gingrich who has more baggage than a freight train and doesn’t know why he is running for President; and [4th] last but not least, a crazy old man with views that is self evident that as a Doctor he must have prescribed too much medication for himself. So dear Republicans, don’t let the shame of these nuts fall upon us, I want to keep my position as Speaker of the house and Mitch wants to become Senate Majority Leader, but we are so bruised from being such obstructionists, that Polling data shows we only have a 9% positive rating. We are so depressed, we are going to have cocktails and lots of it, because next year; we may have to pay for it ourselves!
http://sheriffali.blogspot.com/2012/03/having-ability-to-be-fly-at-night-i.html
Sheriff Ali
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